Lucas County Fair

I have a weakness for County Fairs. They didn't have them in Puerto Rico. Instead they had Patronales, or Patron Saint Festivals, where hanging lights and a few sorry rides would excuse the men sitting in the town square getting drunk. I am learning through absence to appreciate my place of origin, but local festivities were not strong points.

So the two or three times I got to go to a real American County Fair were exciting. I loved the smell of the animal barns and I would look at every single goat, horse and chicken. The food exhibits always puzzled me--the stale, petrified, prize-winning cookies and cakes always looked less appetizing than the fresh ones at home. I always had an elephant ear.

Wednesday my brother and I went to the Lucas County Fair here in Maumee, OH. It's pretty dinky. The rides come with the admission, so we went on all the circle rides. I NEVER get sick on roller-coasters--even the big ones at Cedar Point--but all the dinky, circular rides at the fair create a whirlpool out of my digestive juices. Especially when you throw an elephant ear and a deep fried Snickers into the equation. It takes powerful faith to believe that the sticky dough dunked in the rancid oil will create something good to eat, but it always does--so much so that it justifies the year's worth of trans fat that comes with it (pace, Dr. Gruenke). To top it off, I won a very ugly goldfish from a huckster with a ping-pong toss game. His name is Feo and he is supposed to replace my beloved Leviathan, but so far there is still a fantailed-goldfish-shaped vacuum in my soul.