...y prospero anno nuevo

so this is the new year.
and i don't feel any different.
the clanking of crystal
explosions off in the distance (in the distance).

so this is the new year
and I have no resolutions
for self assigned penance
for problems with easy solutions

so everybody put your best suit or dress on
let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once
lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn
as thirty dialogues bleed into one

i wish the world was flat like the old days
then i could travel just by folding a map
no more airplanes, or speedtrains, or freeways
there'd be no distance that can hold us back.

~Deathcab for Cutie, Transatlanticism

Death of a Michigan President

I'm not a big Ford fan. The guy pardoned Nixon. But I just had to display a little school pride about this well-organized online exhibit. The Gerald Ford Presidential Library is just across the street from my building, by the Bentley Historical Museum. We've got the documents; the Ford Museum in Grand Rapids is full of memorabilia for the populace.

What planet are these people from?

Writing cover letters while watching Grandma. She has the O'Reilly Factor on. Insane. Completely insane.

Cute little Michelle, who is subing for Bill, is an absolute fascist (Oops! Already fulfilled Godwin's Rule of Nazi Analogies). Everyone on there is hung up on communism. THE COLD WAR IS OVER, PEOPLE.

There was a clip of Pat Buchanan and Bill arguing about the culture war. Pat maintained that Paris Hilton and the generally immoral culture of things "that would have never have happened in the Fifties" WERE EXAMPLES OF MARXISM TRIUMPHANT?? WTF? Thanks to Dr. Sanders, I can confidently state that Marx did not actively promote a consumer society such as ours. That's all Keynesian, my friend.

THEN, while Michelle was arguing with Francisco Hernandez on immigration:

Michelle: "We have laws and we should support immigrants who are here legally."
Francisco: "In the 1960s, our laws were unjust and people fought against them."
Michelle (quite vindictively): "And they paid the price!"
Hernandez (bemused): "Um...yes they did"
Michelle: "Thank you Francisco, and good luck to you and your fellow travelers..."

I was paraphrasing, but they really did say the bits about the Fifties, Marxism, punishing civil rights, and fellow travelers.

And don't get me started on the Fifties.

Decisions, Decisions

So I've decided to keep the boots, and to try running my life democratically. I now need advice on a much more serious decision...i.e., where do I want to apply for a job.

There is a lovely-looking job working for college constortium in the lovely-looking town of Claremont, CA. Problem: it's 30 miles outside of LA. I hate both the general slutiness of LA and the housing prices.

Salisbury, MD is in a beautiful location on the Maryland Penninsula -- certainly not as noxious as LA. Problem: It's a public university. I cannot philosophically conform to the mission of a government-supported institution. Of course, I violate my principles to some extent every time I drive on a government road, but one doesn't want to make a career of it...

Belmont College is a respected private, Christian school. Problem: It's in Nashville! Kind of like Vegas for Christian people. Hating hicks, the South, and country music as much as I do, Nashville is probably not the ideal location for me. Extremely difficult, I would think, to find classical music stations and marijuana. On the bright side, Tennessee Walkers are gorgeous horses, and I wouldn't mind having one.

Southern Methodist University has also posted a job that matches my skills and paltry experience well. Problem: It's in Texas.

UC Irvine is also looking for someone like me...why are so many schools controlled by the Dark Side?

Finally, Drexel is looking for someone to run the Internet Public Library ask-a-question service. Drexel sort of "bought" the IPL from Michigan, and since I've already done ref admin work for them and I know how things work, I might land the job. Problem: I know from direct observation that they overworked the last librarian in the position. Also, I'm not sure I'm a good match with Philly.

So...yeah...I'm going to keep looking. Any of those places sound particularly appealing?

Awwww....sad

I was looking for pictures of boots, and this sad little kitty came up. You can tell he's embarrassed.

Oh -- and Happy Sol Invictus Day everybody!

Fashion Post

I am, in fact, interested in shallow things. Recent posts may have indicated that I find politics relevant to my life. I don't. It's just something to talk about. Clothing is actually much more of an existential concern. To dissipate my air of gravitas, I must note that in two movies I recently saw -- that were not at all about fashion -- it was the fashions that caught my eye. Particularly the fashion of the late 90s.

The two movies were Spellbound -- about the 1999 Scripts-Howard Spelling Bee -- and The Queen -- about Elizabeth's reaction to the death of Diana.

I know fashion changes quickly. Within the past year I've become almost afraid to wear flare jeans. I also know how the clothing companies exploit trends in order to sell more clothes. But some things I simply cannot wear. Billowing, tucked-in t-shirts, for example. Everyone wore everything tucked in. Or a long, flowered, polyester dress. Somehow, that's what I envisioned people wearing in the late '80s and early '90s. Yet, that is exactly what people were wearing as late as 1999! Not just the dweebs in Missouri and Tampa who were featured in Spellbound, either. Even older women wore different clothes than they would now.

It seems like fashion used to change by decades and now changes by year. Am I just more fashion-conscious than I used to be? Are people in general just more fashion-conscious now than they were six years ago?



Which leads me to a question -- Brianna, Sarah, Emma, Emily, et al. -- I recently purchased a new pair of boots with my anticipated Christmas money. They fit well (slightly snug in the calf), but the shaft falls 3 - 4 inches below my knee. Is that where they should be, or should I send them back to Zappos and relinquish my quest for appropriately-sized boots? I love them because they are waterproof, and I can wear them with just about any of my black or grey skirts and pants.

The Gulf War and Today

I listened to a podcast today from a history lecture at UC Berkeley called "9/11 and Beyond." it made me like H.W. better. He got lambasted for saying "it wouldn't be prudent" to invade Iraq and depose Saddam, and even blamed for the current war. The professor (Jennifer Burns) characterized H.W. as a cautious, experienced man who was a consensus-builder. The U.N. passed a resolution to defend Kuwait, America went in with 20 other nations, and our military still had Soviet-era military build-up, which Bush used to swiftly win the war. Significantly, Bush refused to pursue the war any further than Kuwait's border.

The main reason he might be blamed for the current war is because he gave in to the Saudis and left American troops in Saudi Arabia to guard against Iraq. This incensed Bin Ladin, who is a Saudi, for nationalist reasons and because much of Saudi Arabia is holy land. Of course, Bin Ladin and other extremists also have their panties in a twist over our defense of Israel against Palestine, and because of our marketing of items they see as immoral, such as Coca-Cola and scantily-clad women (I like capitalism, but I also believe the government and the corporations are often in an unholy alliance to pry open new markets).

George W. is NOT a consensus builder, but acts on his own beliefs. There has always been a segment of the Republican party, according to Burns, that has wanted to invade Iraq and force a regime change since the end of the Gulf War. 9/11 provided sufficient paranoia to be an impetus against any threats. Bush also acted based on his own interpretation of a past U.N. sanction on Iraq. The Security Council would not approve these actions.

So, essentially, George W. has come up with a new foreign policy: for the safety of the U.S., force a complete regime change in countries that appear hostile. This is similar, but not completely like, the policy of containment during the Cold War, the Cuban Missile Crisis, and the Spanish-American War (both times in Cuba, of course, we were facing off against another superpower; not attempting the regime change of a national government. In both Vietnam and the Philippines there was a fledgling provisional government that we were "supporting.") The question is, of course, should a "hyper-power" like America embrace this role of arbiter of other countries' national governments, or should we attempt to lessen our presence in other countries, thereby perhaps reducing their reasons for hating us?

Anyway...I would highly recommend listening to the podcast. I just recently discovered all the lectures you can get from Princeton...Berkeley...etc. on almost any subject.

Third Annual Office Party at the Zoo

And I had to turn in two papers the next day...


And I got TOUCHED...


And there was no booze...



No wonder I was pouting.

Sauron?

Oh...speaking of presidents, guess who is Michigan's commencement speaker for 2007. Hey -- it's a step above Brett Hume. I may have to graduate after all just so I can shake his hand -- from a safe distance.

Reason #1171 Why My Kids Are Never Going to Public School...

Man convicted of animal cruelty sentenced to dress in dog suit and talk to elementary school kids about animal cruelty.

Yes. I definitely want my kids to learn about animal cruelty from a fake, convicted dalmation.

Annual Foot in Mouth Prize (AU)

Forget breast cancer and gay marriage, I'm joining the Plain English Campaign. Surprisingly, Bush came in for only one nomination...

Camilla = Hyacinth

I'm sorry, Emma, but I see little difference in the style -- the improbable hat, the shapeless, pastel dress, the costume jewelery (although Camilla's, sadly, is probably real).

"Evil-minded parishioners making life hell for clergy"

The Times reports that "troublemakers indulge in 'church hopping', moving on to the next church once they have had enough of the one they are in. Dr Savage says that these people suffer from neurotic personality disorders bordering on the psychotic. "

*gulps nervously and stares at fixed point on ceiling*

"Churches in Britain are a 'toxic cocktail' of bullying and terror, as parish priests struggle to lead congregations dominated by neurotic worshippers who spread havoc with gossip and manipulation."

Hyacinth from Keeping Up Appearances? Anyone?



But maybe this is all to be expected when you take the "angel" out of "Anglican".

Quick Post -- Then Back to Work

K...I'm feeling guilty. But I don't really have time to post right now. Here are some things that make grad school in December a little more bearable:

Advent Calendar -- Trader Joe's -- 99 cents (!) -- (warning: contains Santa Claus)

Apricot/Orange Jam -- Trader Joe's

Sangria -- Whole Foods -- $5.99

I'll be back next week!

In other news, I've adopted a minor "heresy" (this is not related to tests below). I might post more on the subject after I consider if admitting this could result in being burned at the stake or any other nasty consequences.

I'm doing other stuff too...like talking to Brianna...and writing a paper

Here's the test Brianna found; we scored the same on the top two, except they were inverted.

You scored as Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan. You are an evangelical in the Wesleyan tradition. You believe that God's grace enables you to choose to believe in him, even though you yourself are totally depraved. The gift of the Holy Spirit gives you assurance of your salvation, and he also enables you to live the life of obedience to which God has called us. You are influenced heavly by John Wesley and the Methodists. Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 71% Neo orthodox 68% Emergent/Postmodern 68% Reformed Evangelical 57% Roman Catholic 50% Fundamentalist 39% Classical Liberal 36% Modern Liberal 25% Charismatic/Pentecostal 14% What's your theological worldview? created with QuizFarm.com

Ooops...I'm only 71% Christian

You scored as Christianity. Your views are most similar to those of Christianity. Do more research on Christianity and possibly consider being baptized and accepting Jesus, if you aren't already Christian. Christianity is the second of the Abrahamic faiths; it follows Judaism and is followed by Islam. It differs in its belief of Jesus, as not a prophet nor historical figure, but as God in human form. The Holy Trinity is the concept that God takes three forms: the Father, the Son (Jesus), and the Holy Ghost (sometimes called Holy Spirit). Jesus taught the idea of instead of seeking revenge, one should love his or her neighbors and enemies. Christians believe that Jesus died on the cross to save humankind and forgive people's sins. Christianity 71% Buddhism 58% agnosticism 50% Paganism 38% Judaism 38% Islam 29% Satanism 29% Hinduism 21% atheism 8% Which religion is the right one for you? (new version) created with QuizFarm.com

Religious Test

You scored as Presbytarian. You have mainly Presbytarian beliefs. You have a strong Calvinist Christian theology background and place great importance in learning the scriptures Presbytarian 93% Trinitarian 74% Protestant 73% Non Denominational Christian 67% Evangelical 67% Anglican/Episcopal 60% Ecumenical 53% Catholic/Orthodox 26% Messianic Jew/J4J 20% Charismatic/Pentecostal 7% Christian Scientist 7% Unitarian Christian 7% Mormon 0% Jehovahs Witness 0% What kind of Christian beliefs do you have? created with QuizFarm.com

Post-Rapture Post

Whether or not you are a pre-millenialist, this is pretty funny:
http://postrapturepost.com/index.html

(blogger is messed up right now -- will embed the link as soon as it gets itself fixed.)

Warning: Could Make You Sick

This, my friends, is a rant. A serious rant, no less. I would suggest (A) seeing Jesus Camp yourself or (B) skipping to the movie clips with descriptive captions.


About three weeks ago I went to see the movie Jesus Camp with some friends from GCF. It's dark, and confusing, and it makes you think hard about where you are on the spectrum compared to the wackos portrayed.

On the one hand, I agree with them that:
1. Widespread, government-sanctioned abortion is a social ill.
2. Kids are going to imbibe some sort of ideology.
3. The public schools have their own form of ideology.

And then there's the other hand.

First, I strongly disagree with doing that to children (see movie clips below). I remember being furious when I drove past someone holding up a picture of an aborted baby on the street when I had A. in the car with me. His parents and I, though coming from different perspectives, jointly agreed upon what was age appropriate and wouldn't traumatize him at his stage of development. Yet here was someone, most likely a Christian, holding up something more gory than anything you could see in an R-rated movie for the viewing of general audiences.

I disagree with the obvious encouragement of hysteria in children (i.e. the spooky humming and shouting by adults) in the name of the "Holy Spirit." If being "touched by the Holy Spirit" means five year olds experiencing epilepsy, then I'm converting to Buddhism. Frankly, it creeped me out more than the Exorcist. I'm going to stop there.

The part I feel I can speak to more authoritatively is indoctrinating children with strong opinions about things they can't possibly understand. Unfortunately, some kids are going to know about rape, incest, and birth deformities when they are three. I think we can agree that is not optimal. Yet it's not possible to have an informed opinion on abortion without understanding these concepts. Kids are smart, but they are also mimics. They can't make judgments about complex moral issues until at least their teens. Unless you really think a child can understand the controversy surrounding abortion, you shouldn't use them as tools, and you shouldn't actively engage their emotions. Making them bless a cardboard cut out of George Bush? I think even Dr. F. would have blanched at that sort of "political activism," I hope.

Second, there's the thoughtless hypocrisy. Spotlighted by Ted Haggard, of course. See the clip below where he mocks the discussions of general assemblies about homosexuality because he thinks it's such a clear issue in the Bible. I guess the National Association of Evangelicals could perhaps have benefitted from some discussion about the topic. Yes, we all sin, but the hypocrisy comes in when someone publicly harangues against sin rather than trying help the people affected by the sin. Perhaps Haggard and the leaders of the Jesus Camp are involved in caring for pregnant teens and fighting AIDS, but that is certainly not where their emphasis is.

Then there's the commercialism. I have no problem with Dannon as a water retailer, but what precisely is the connotation of washing away sins with a plastic water bottle? Sorry, but in the realm of symbolism, the Catholic Church has got it all over you guys when it comes to significance. And the shirts that link Christianity and commercial products. What are we saying with the word "Jesus" written to look like the Reeses Logo? Are we saying there is some sort of correlation between Christ and a peanut butter cup? Are we trying to make Christianity palatable? It never seems to occur to these people that perhaps I'm not ashamed of Christ, but I'm not so sure of myself that Christ might not frequently be ashamed of me. Until my actions are faultless, I'm not going to go around advertising (literally) my Christianity to people who see only a fragment of my actions.




Featurette by the creators of Jesus Camp. Footage of children experiencing seizures, being "baptized" with a bottle of Dannon water.




Is any scandal complete until Jon Stewart comments on it? The clip shown is from Jesus Camp.