Odds and Ends

Driving

You must think driving's a big part of my life and, well, it is. I spend approximately 1/24 of my day in the car. This could be reduced to 1/48 and made much more pleasant for me if there were more zippy drivers on the road. I don't consider myself an aggressive driver. Well, verbally maybe. But that doesn't count. Boston and Chicago frighten me. Everyone here, though, drives like they're in their 80s, even if they're not. When they come up to a turn lane, they begin slowing down half a mile before they need to stop. When they get to the turn lane, they proceed to stop 20 feet behind the car in front of them and gradually inch forward to 10 feet, where they stop. Does everyone in Cape have a depth perception problem??

And you know what this is?? It's not being laid back. It's being SELFISH. It is EGOCENTRIC to take up 30 feet of a turn lane when there are 20 cars behind you trying to crowd in and stopping traffic in the straight lanes. I am morally ambivalent about a lot of things, but there is a RIGHT and a WRONG way to drive, and driving BELOW THE SPEED LIMIT, TAKING A LONG TIME TO TURN, and most especially TAKING UP A LOT OF ROOM IN A TURN LANE are IMMORAL. I am starting my own organization: Michaela Against Dumb Driving.

Christmas

And something else. CHRISTMAS. I used to like Christmas when I was a child. It was a greatly-anticipated season in Puerto Rico because it heralded the arrival of cooler weather. But what sort of internal dialog prompts us celebrate the winter solstice up here?

"Hooray! Our autumn crops are rotting!"

"Look! We humans are too asinine to hibernate! Ha ha ha ha ha."

"Let's make our winter energy bills HIGHER with millions of unnecessary lights. We might inadvertently melt the ice under Santa's workshop while we're at it."

"Everyone's upset because there are only 8 hours of sunlight. Let's all go shopping AT ONCE to increase our debts and spread disease."

"I'm not getting much exercise this month. Maybe I should triple my empty calorie intake and wear shiny clothes."

Don't worry. I'm still giving presents. Just no blow-up plastic biker Santas, no matter where they are on your list.

Tiberius

I've got a new kitty named Tiberius. I think he's going to be long and lean and slinky. Julio's still the family beauty, and he knows it. But the boys are getting along better today; Julio's ceased his histrionics. Tiberius has decided he likes Julio's food, and Julio likes Tiber's. This will have the unfortunate effect of making Julio fatter and Tibers skinnier. So I've made a box with a hole in it that only Tibers can fit through and put his food bowl in it. He refuses to go inside when the lid is closed. Julio keeps getting his head stuck in the opening. Oh well, if they weren't contrary, I might suspect they were dogs.