Driving

I like driving sometimes. I like driving to a trailhead in the spring or fall. I like driving to Walgreens late at night when I can wander around the empty store. But I don't like long road trips when I am the sole driver.

My car is old. I check the air pressure, the oil, the radiator fluid before I leave, but something could always happen and I would be stranded. Mother always told me to take a flashlight and hide in a bush. This time my radiator dried up and my engine overheated. I did not hide in a bush. I put a gallon of water in the radiator and then my Japanese student and I stood in front of the car waiting for it to cool down. Of course, we were soon "rescued." Two girls shivering and looking helpless in front of a car is sure-fire man-bait.

There is inevitably bad weather when I have to drive long distances. And it follows me, like Winnie-the-Pooh's raincloud. I have driven 8 hours in snow, sleet, and rain. Once I even outraced a tornado, screaming "mommy! mommy!" Not an experience I care to repeat.

And then there are always rest stops. At fast food eateries, herbivores like me must cobble together a meal of unhealthy side-dishes: french fries, ice cream, a wilted iceberg side salad. And only at rest stop restrooms are there perfume and cologne dispensers along with the condom and tampon dispensers. I guess truckers really like to smell "good," and make the entire bathroom smell "good."

Now that it is the holidays, winter road conditions are exacerbated by extra people. I don't know where these people are the rest of the year. Hibernating? Do they only come out when they smell reindeer? Do they not go to movies, Walmart, or use the interstate the rest of the year? None of them seem to know how to observe stop signs, park straight, or use a drive-up ATM.

In nuce, I think I would be happier without a car. Or at least with a private helicopter.