Dana inspired me while I was in VA. She would take luxuriantly long baths and even had a little pillow for her back. Now, there are several obstacles to my successful bathing. First of all, the average tub tends to be a little, well, cramped for me. I wonder if they make custom tubs like they make custom caskets? Second of all, I've heard that sinks are usually more germy than toilet bowls--makes me wonder where tubs fit on the spectrum. I would definitely get down and dirty with the bleach before I commenced bathing. So what do you think?
1) Michaela's poor, tired, oversized bones deserve it!
2) Baths take less water and are better for the environment.
3) Michaela should stick to showers so she stays away from the bleach fumes.
4) Bathing is unsuitable material for a public blog.
5) Michaela obviously has too much time on her hands and should take up bobsledding.
6) Michaela should make a profession of pointless polls.
7) I will personally send Michaela some lovely lavender-scented bath foam and a rubber ducky(preferred response).
6 comments:
3.
Although they are nice.
And yes this is not suitable material for a public blog.
definitely 5.
I personally think she shouldn't bathe at all. Baths and Duckies are dangerous, too. Last night I, Ebenezer Willi, was visted by the Ghost of Michaela Future. This is what she told me:
Rubber ducks are cute and yellow
Dear bath buddy, what a fellow!
Sit you down and hear my story,
of my duck named Moriorti
One fine spring day in late November,
I sought a chum to share my fun.
My previous attempts at friendship
gave me tuition on what to shun:
A tiny song-bird, I had rescued,
from the fates, in peril he
had perched upon my uncle's shoulder
thinking there, he could be free.
But unbeknownst to tiny birdy,
uncle Jo was not a fan
of any birds, not whatsoever,
for birds had killed his Margery.
They pecked her once, they pecked her twice,
in painful screams of agony
Aunt Marge had met her sad demise.
(she spilled the seed, you see).
I snatched the wing'ed fellow from him
my mean and vengeful uncle-man.
And then together, bird and I,
went home, as I had planned.
Joy we shared, that bird and I,
but fates had willed it not to be-
when evening came, I took him bathing,
he swam not, I failed to see.
His drounded corpse laid heavy on
my young and tender spirit-soul
And yet, far worse, did I soon feel,
when 'Salmonella!' I was told.
We shall not speak of said affliction,
long was my woe and agony.
I swore to renounce avian leagues.
"Not one bird more!" so I agreed.
Long were my baths in days that followed,
long and lonely, cold and dark.
(Here please note, I speak of 'cold,'
but only as a poet's lark)
And so we come to fated day,
when I pursued a ducky, sound.
Of learn'ed mystics I had gleaned
that rubber duckies do not dround.
Moriorti I did name him,
a name to live in infamy-
I squeaked him, and I dunked him low,
and still he did not poison me!
He showed no signs of ever drounding-
Glad was I to see that fact,
his rubber beak spread no diseases,
I felt content, for breaking pact.
For I now ask you to recall,
a solemn oath I had bespoke,
to own no bird or birdish-creature
such a vow I had invoked.
The fates, they cruelly bind me, now
for when I broke my pledge,
I drew upon me curses old,
that cut with doubled edge.
And this is how it happened, then
my last and painful few moments.
Do not read on, if thou art squeamish,
or if sympathy is spent.
I turned the water on, and slipped
on Ducky, my good friend.
I broke my neck, and drounded then,
and fate had it's revenge.
While I do feel that bathing is an unsuitable conversation topic public conversation, I will briefly venture to express the opinion that you ought choose baths.
I think it goes without saying that one is much more likely to have inspired ideas while relaxing in a warm bath than while having water pelted down on one from above.
Consider,Tolkien came up with his “one ring to rule them all” poem while sitting in a bath. Archimedes discovered something or other incredible about weight in his bath. Moreover, I am sure many other brilliant ideas were had in baths but being sensible of the fact that bathing is an unsuitable topic for public conversation, kept that fact to themselves.
So bathe, Michaela! Follow in the footseps of archimedes and tolkien. and before you know it, you too may be yelling “Eureka!”
Unless you can find a tub the proper size, it's not worth it. If it is too short, it's basically like slouching in a schooldesk - rather uncomfortable. And you are mocked by the bathtub because you don't fit and are half toasty and half cold.
But you see, Dana, I am currently trying to cultivate my hedonistic side and, hence, I am emulating your perfection in that area. FYI, I have taken several baths (I just bathe different ends at a time), and this weekend I got some lovely honey-and-milk bubble bath. I still need a rubber ducky.
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